We Need Obama!

Today is a big day for Hillary Clinton. Many think it's do or die for her campaign. But honestly, what is she thinking? Does she really think that the American public will vote for her instead of Barack Hussein Obama? Why do the Americans even allow women to run for office, it's a waste of time, money and energy. In the Arab world, we don't even bother to waste anything on them. Just give Hillary a burka and tell her not to meddle in Obama's business. Obama needs to win the election; the whole Arab world is counting on it.

Promo Video

Greetings, friends!

There is a relatively new video which my organization produced to play on Palestinian television. It shows clips of all the activities we do. Starting from little children in kindergarten through adult education. It also shows some footage of the results of our activities.

The promotional video has caused a great influx of applicants for the cause. Watch it and you'll understand why. It shows what a day of my life is like, sort of. Enjoy!

Betrayal

Do you know what true betrayal feels like? People compare it to having a knife stuck in your back, but this isn't true. The pain is worse than being beheaded - trust me, I know! I considered Binzana a true loyal friend of mine, but he betrayed me. I pray that Mohammad should smite him with the wrath of Allah.

I went to check up on my goat, Sharmota, and behold! Binzana was raping poor Sharmota! In addition to the fact that Sharmota was mine and not his, she is only two years old!! Hasn't he ever heard about age of consent? Not only is he a rapist, but he is also a pedophile!

To make a long story short, Binzana ran away from the cave and is nowhere to be found. Rumor has it that he surrendered to the Zionist infidels who are using him to gain information about my company. What a traitor!

As for Sharmota, she had to be killed. There is no age of consent for mercy killings in Islam, regardless if it's a person or animal. I had great hopes for Sharmota, but those will never be realized. My consolation is that I know Allah is vengeful and will take revenge against Binzana for me.

Rest in piece, Sharmota, rest in peace.

P.S. This is not an April Fools' joke, this is true!

I Have Electricity!

The Israelis have cut our electricity claiming that it's a punishment for terror acts, but I know that's not true. They did it in an attempt to stop me from blogging to you. They were afraid of what would happen if you would really understand what goes on here in the bowels of the caves. But we managed on getting generators here to get our electricity back on in the caves so we can continue our work.

I made a special generator for my computer which allows me to blog no matter what the Israelis do. For security reasons I cannot show you pictures of the technology we have here, but the picture on the left is of a similar model in use in India today.

There is much which I need to discuss with you, but for now it is enough that I delight you with the personal victory I had over the Israeli Zionist Occupation Forces.

Practicing Terror is Freedom

First of all I want to apologize to you for not updating you about my exciting life in a while. There was a lot of work we had to do before Bush's visit started. But there is something I wanted to ask you. Bush came here to make "peace" and the first thing he does is threatens war. I'm no big fan of the Iranians; they shower less than us. But why doesn't the American government support Iranian terror just as they support Palestinian terror? Why are our Iranian brothers being denied their Allah-given right to perpetrate terror?!? In the video of the standoff between American and Iranian boats they make the Americans seem like victims. Well, there's another video out there that the media won't show you (it's amazing how frightened the media is of the truth). It's a video a friend of mine took in Iraq and sent to me. It shows the barbaric actions of American soldiers.

The Price of Outsourcing

I just returned from a very important mission from which I learned an extremely valuable lesson: Don't outsource. At first it seems that it's worth it because you are saving money, but as I learned today the overall price you pay isn't worth it.

I was stationed at an undisclosed area waiting for a Zionist patrol to pass by so I could explode an improvised explosive device (IED). When the time finally came, I lit the fuse but it didn't go off. What happened was that the fuse was outsourced because it was a little cheaper. I have already filed a formal complaint that the fuses aren't functioning properly and we shouldn't use them anymore. Let's wait and see if the democratic process will work here in the cave and my voice will be heard.

It Wasn't Us!!

The news was so great it even reached the bowels of my cave. Benazir Bhutto, the first female Prime Minister of Pakistan, was killed today in a shooting/suicide bombing attack. The blood hasn't yet stopped pulsating out of her and people are already blaming Muslims for her killing. They say that we are "radicals" and "extremists" and wanted her dead because of her views. The views she had about the world and the view she showed the world. They say we hated her because she didn't support terror and she didn't cover her face. While it is true that she committed these atrocious crimes and needs to be punished for them, her killing was not done by Muslims. It was done by American pagans.

The Americans hope to cause civil unrest with her killing, making the terrorists look bad in the world's opinion, thereby justifying their occupation of Arab land. I plead with you on behalf of the entire Arab and Muslim community to not be fooled by the infidel propaganda. Please, look at the facts I have mentioned and you will see that I speak only the truth.