Life Underground

Islamic Association for Multiple Personality

2008-09-16T16:22:00.002+02:00

It was with great disgust that I read the story of Mohammed Bello Masaba. Don't get me wrong, I don't despise his actions, rather those of the Nigerian government. Nigerian police have arrested Masaba, a Muslim preacher, for having too many wives! He is charged with violating Islamic law which forbids men from having more than 4 wives. At 84 years old, with 86 wives and 107 children, Masaba says that he gets his power from Allah and is therefore able to have such a large family. For those of you who can't count to 86, and therefore don't know how much it is, look at the picture which shows some of his wives. Even though Masaba has violated Islamic law, I still think Nigerian authorities acted inappropriately because they haven't properly assessed the situation. Masaba, like nearly 10% of Western infidels, has Multiple Personality. He actually has 23 known different personalities so he can technically still marry another 6 women. It doesn't matter that 5 of his personalities are under the age of 10 and 3 personalities are women. Where is the Islamic Association for Multiple Personality to defend him? Perhaps he will meet another 6 loves of his life in prison...?

Cultural Differences

2008-09-11T19:21:00.004+02:00

Today is a special day in our part of the world, as well as in the West. The reason why today is special is the same, but the way we commemorate the day is quite different. I think that this will be a great opportunity for me to explain the differences between us. I have been asked many times how we differ from the West. Rather than get into a lengthy discussion, I will let you watch the video and you will understand the great differences between us.

A Muslim At Heart

2008-09-10T09:21:00.005+02:00

There has been much speculation here in the Arab world about Barack Obama's religion. There have been some radicals who have suggested that Obama is actually a Christian and not a Muslim. Yet others have accused him of hiding his Islam and claiming to be Christian. But now we all know the truth. Obama is a true Muslim and he's not embarrassed to tell it to the world. That's exactly the kind of person needed now in the White House. As the picture to the left shows, Obama is, in fact, Muslim. I know that there are some people who think the picture is fake because it is a drawing and not an actual photograph. However, the reason it was drawn was because the photographer was afraid of being spotted when his flash would go off, he therefore chose to draw the scene he saw. So let us all get together in November and vote for Obama (as many times as necessary).

Where is the Honor?

2008-09-02T19:19:00.007+02:00

While Republicans may be very excited about John McCain's choice for VP, voters should still think about who she is in real life. She is a woman who has no honor and no ethical code. It has been reported by many news sources that Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of McCain's running mate, Sarah, is 5 months pregnant. Bristol Palin is not married, which makes it difficult for me to understand why Sarah Palin hasn't done anything about her daughter's pregnancy? After all, she is religious so she should follow the ethical laws set out by religion. I know that I have followed the law when it was necessary. We all know that Sarah Palin is capable; let the picture below talk for itself. She knows what has to be done, why doesn't she do it? The only reason is because she really isn't religious, so why would someone want to vote for her? She is an infidel and will only bring more disgrace unto America. If she can't defend the honor of her family, how can she defend the honor of her country?

Vote for Change!

2008-08-28T19:08:00.003+03:00

As Democrats gather in Denver to nominate Barack Obama as the Democratic presidentail candidate, I sit in my cave with great excitement. For the second time in history the American public will have the choice to vote for someone who represents something different - change. Although this might not be the first time, there are nevertheless some great differences between Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter, who first offered Americans the opportunity to vote for something different. I know it may be hard to understand my point, however a picture is worth a thousand words and a video is worth...

Training Video

2008-07-23T09:57:00.005+03:00

Many people have sent me emails requesting tips on how to become an effective suicide bomber. Although it is impossible for me to train people in the art of suicide bombing on the internet, this video explains the fundamental principles to suicide bombing. The video was filmed at the Al Q'Utaya training facility. For security reasons I am unable to share any details, such as location and organizational affiliation, of the training camp. Remember, suicide bombing can be a blast but if not done properly it can lead to catastrophic results!

A Country's Problem - Yahud

2008-05-13T07:58:00.004+03:00

Well, my infidel friends, if you think that when I complain about the problems that the Jews (Yahud) cause us I am really at fault, boy are you in for a surprise! All that I tell you about the Jews is true, it is not made up and it is not my fault. In fact, they cause problems in other places of the world - such as Kazakhstan. Here is a video for you to see about the problems they cause in Kazakhstan. It is called Mogozrobitcher Domuvon, which means "In My Country There Is A Problem," in Kazakh. Watch it and then you can come to your own conclusions.

Song and lyrics by Borat Sagdiyev, a news reporter for the state run Kazakhstan television. With such impressive credentials it's hard to deny the validity to his statements. The video was produced by Azamat Bogatov, a world famous producer who can do a much better job than the pagan Steven Spielberg even if his eyes were blindfolded. Besides, Spielberg is an American Jewish infidel!

We Need Obama!

2008-05-06T20:32:00.003+03:00

Today is a big day for Hillary Clinton. Many think it's do or die for her campaign. But honestly, what is she thinking? Does she really think that the American public will vote for her instead of Barack Hussein Obama? Why do the Americans even allow women to run for office, it's a waste of time, money and energy. In the Arab world, we don't even bother to waste anything on them. Just give Hillary a burka and tell her not to meddle in Obama's business. Obama needs to win the election; the whole Arab world is counting on it.

Promo Video

2008-04-28T10:30:00.004+03:00

Greetings, friends!

There is a relatively new video which my organization produced to play on Palestinian television. It shows clips of all the activities we do. Starting from little children in kindergarten through adult education. It also shows some footage of the results of our activities.

The promotional video has caused a great influx of applicants for the cause. Watch it and you'll understand why. It shows what a day of my life is like, sort of. Enjoy!

Betrayal

2008-04-01T22:16:00.008+03:00

Do you know what true betrayal feels like? People compare it to having a knife stuck in your back, but this isn't true. The pain is worse than being beheaded - trust me, I know! I considered Binzana a true loyal friend of mine, but he betrayed me. I pray that Mohammad should smite him with the wrath of Allah.

I went to check up on my goat, Sharmota, and behold! Binzana was raping poor Sharmota! In addition to the fact that Sharmota was mine and not his, she is only two years old!! Hasn't he ever heard about age of consent? Not only is he a rapist, but he is also a pedophile!

To make a long story short, Binzana ran away from the cave and is nowhere to be found. Rumor has it that he surrendered to the Zionist infidels who are using him to gain information about my company. What a traitor!

As for Sharmota, she had to be killed. There is no age of consent for mercy killings in Islam, regardless if it's a person or animal. I had great hopes for Sharmota, but those will never be realized. My consolation is that I know Allah is vengeful and will take revenge against Binzana for me.

Rest in piece, Sharmota, rest in peace.

P.S. This is not an April Fools' joke, this is true!

I Have Electricity!

2008-02-14T07:44:00.003+02:00

The Israelis have cut our electricity claiming that it's a punishment for terror acts, but I know that's not true. They did it in an attempt to stop me from blogging to you. They were afraid of what would happen if you would really understand what goes on here in the bowels of the caves. But we managed on getting generators here to get our electricity back on in the caves so we can continue our work.

I made a special generator for my computer which allows me to blog no matter what the Israelis do. For security reasons I cannot show you pictures of the technology we have here, but the picture on the left is of a similar model in use in India today.

There is much which I need to discuss with you, but for now it is enough that I delight you with the personal victory I had over the Israeli Zionist Occupation Forces.

Practicing Terror is Freedom

2008-01-10T09:41:00.000+02:00

First of all I want to apologize to you for not updating you about my exciting life in a while. There was a lot of work we had to do before Bush's visit started. But there is something I wanted to ask you. Bush came here to make "peace" and the first thing he does is threatens war. I'm no big fan of the Iranians; they shower less than us. But why doesn't the American government support Iranian terror just as they support Palestinian terror? Why are our Iranian brothers being denied their Allah-given right to perpetrate terror?!? In the video of the standoff between American and Iranian boats they make the Americans seem like victims. Well, there's another video out there that the media won't show you (it's amazing how frightened the media is of the truth). It's a video a friend of mine took in Iraq and sent to me. It shows the barbaric actions of American soldiers.

The Price of Outsourcing

2007-12-30T05:02:00.000+02:00

I just returned from a very important mission from which I learned an extremely valuable lesson: Don't outsource. At first it seems that it's worth it because you are saving money, but as I learned today the overall price you pay isn't worth it.

I was stationed at an undisclosed area waiting for a Zionist patrol to pass by so I could explode an improvised explosive device (IED). When the time finally came, I lit the fuse but it didn't go off. What happened was that the fuse was outsourced because it was a little cheaper. I have already filed a formal complaint that the fuses aren't functioning properly and we shouldn't use them anymore. Let's wait and see if the democratic process will work here in the cave and my voice will be heard.

It Wasn't Us!!

2007-12-27T20:10:00.000+02:00

The news was so great it even reached the bowels of my cave. Benazir Bhutto, the first female Prime Minister of Pakistan, was killed today in a shooting/suicide bombing attack. The blood hasn't yet stopped pulsating out of her and people are already blaming Muslims for her killing. They say that we are "radicals" and "extremists" and wanted her dead because of her views. The views she had about the world and the view she showed the world. They say we hated her because she didn't support terror and she didn't cover her face. While it is true that she committed these atrocious crimes and needs to be punished for them, her killing was not done by Muslims. It was done by American pagans.

The Americans hope to cause civil unrest with her killing, making the terrorists look bad in the world's opinion, thereby justifying their occupation of Arab land. I plead with you on behalf of the entire Arab and Muslim community to not be fooled by the infidel propaganda. Please, look at the facts I have mentioned and you will see that I speak only the truth.

Kassam Memories

2007-12-25T23:27:00.000+02:00

A really weird thing happened to me yesterday. I went to visit my brother, Zibala, in the hospital to see how he is doing. Praise to Allah, he is doing better and will soon be able to continue manufacturing bombs. But as I tried to get back home I realized that it was impossible for me to get to RamAllah because of the Christian holiday. As a result there were many Zionist soldiers out looking to kill innocent Palestinians and bathe in their blood because they know that Palestinian blood is holy. So I was forced to remain in an Israeli city and pretend to be an American tourist, something which I have learned in my training. So here I am, in an Israeli internet cafe, drinking coffee and telling you about a problem I just uncovered.

It seems that the Zionist state is preparing to defend themselves against our Kassam rocket attacks. This is not good news for me, as it will stop our acts of terror against the Jews. So I decided to post a short clip for you to see. It is of a Kassam rocket attack against Israeli cities, something which in the near future may become nothing more than just a memory of times long gone. In the video you will see that we launched the Kassam from a school, in this way the Israelis can't strike back without bombing a school and then the whole world will support what we did, and what we will do in the future. Brilliant, isn't it? I apologize for the quality of the video, it was taken with my camera and is a little grainy.

Who's Really Primitive?

2007-12-23T07:22:00.000+02:00

The Zionists have once again interfered with our internet connection. This time they blocked my access to Al-Jazeera so I was forced to view a Western news site. But you must understand, the choice to read the news from the West wasn't mine. The Zionists have not only blocked Al-Jazeera, but anyone trying to go there was redirected to another site. This was my first time viewing this site and I must say I was greatly disappointed. The West is always preaching about tolerance, yet this site was anything but that. As soon as the page loaded I was immediately attacked by Western religious beliefs. Why don't they ask me what religion I am before the page loads so that they can create content befitting my religion? Why do they make these alternating pattern of colors, and why is that man on the left wearing a cross? This would never happen at Al-Jazeera. Al-Jazeera is always careful with which content is viewed by whom. For instance, they know that Westerners can't always handle the truth so on their English site they post the news slightly different for their viewer's safety. Shame on you, Matt Drudge, why can't you learn from us how to appeal to the masses?

RIP Hentish

2007-12-18T22:45:00.000+02:00

The bloodthirsty American infidels have killed another citizen of Iraq - Hentish. Hentish was a beloved dog who did not do anything wrong, yet was killed. Hentish was unarmed and defenseless and posed no threat to the invaders, why did they kill him?! Hentish was friendly to American reporters so they killed him. Just because we, freedom fighters, are friends of American journalists doesn't mean that dogs who are friends of journalists need to be killed. This is yet another proof how ruthless the infidels are.

Trouble Ahead

2007-12-16T03:31:00.000+02:00

The news reaching my cave from the United States is very troubling. Why don't the American people see how good Hillary Clinton will be as President? I know that she will do what is right and what is best for the Middle East. She has many times shown that she truly cares about us here, as the picture illustrates. In the picture she is kissing Suha Arafat, the wife of the late President of Palestine Yasser Arafat. I am sure that these two great women will continue their strong friendship when Hillary is elected and together they will solve all of the world's problems.

Zibala's accident

2007-12-12T21:30:00.000+02:00

The past few days have been very hard for me. My brother, Zibala, was injured in a work accident preparing a bomb. The infidels came in middle of the night and switched the detonator he was using so it exploded before Zibala finished working on the bomb. Luckily he wasn't next to it when it exploded, he was in the next room. Here is a picture of what it looked like after the Jews switched my brother's detonator with theirs. He was injured and is in the hospital now and I really want to go visit him. However, it was impossible for me to leave the village without being seen by the pagan Zionists. Because it is their holiday, they added many roadblocks and many more soldiers on the streets. But now that the holiday is over I hope to be able to make it to the hospital. I will hopefully keep you informed of Zibala's condition.

Home Sweet Home

2007-12-06T04:43:00.000+02:00

I am back home in my cave now. That was an exhausting trip! Because I travelled in a caravan it took me a very long time to reach Sudan. By the time I got there it was too late. It's a shame I left my package of surface-to-air missiles back at home.

On the way back one of the camels in the caravan broke its leg so we had to stop and wait for its rider to sharpen his knife before taking the camel out of its misery. On the way back we were deafened by the warplanes of the Israeli Zionist occupying infidel. They timed the flight for when we were praying so that it would disturb us. But was I disturbed? No! I was strengthened and prayed to Allah to bring down his vengeful wrath upon the enemy.

I hear someone moving around, I'm not sure if it's Abu-Ali going to do his nightly check or not. I don't want him to catch me communicating with you infidels, for then he will surely have me beheaded, may Allah have mercy on me.

I'm Still Alive!

2007-12-02T19:31:00.000+02:00

Greetings, fellow underground bloggers!! I know I have not posted in a long time and I am sorry for that. I know that many of you thought I had been killed or worse: captured by the Israeli infidels! But no, I was in Iran organizing a meeting to counter the obscenities of Annapolis, Maryland. The picture is of one of the sessions we had about our predicament. I needed to hide the identity of the participants because I know that the infidels will want to know who was there.

Iran is a strange country, they didn't have any internet in their caves!! I guess Al Gore hasn't visited them yet. Time is short, for I must now leave to Sudan. There are things I need to take care of there. I hope Al Gore has already been to Sudan and I will be able to update you from there. But this mission will be a difficult one for me, so I ask of you to please have me in your prayers to Allah.

Friday Sermon Live

2007-09-07T12:48:00.000+03:00

It has been a very eventful day for me. The Israeli Zionist infidels have been poking around some caves in the neighborhood. It is a good thing they haven't found me, praised be Allah. However, because of the presence of the oppressors, I was unable to go to mosque today and I was feeling very depressed, in addition to being oppressed and compressed.

However, my good good friend and dear brother, Mustafa, has noticed my pain. He has arranged for our group to have a sermon here deep in the ground. I was able to get a copy of the sermon and translate some of it for you. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to get you the real juicy part, I couldn't let my brothers know that I am in contact with the outside world. I have added subtitles in English so that all the infidels would be able to understand the word of Allah and Mohammed his prophet.

Salaam

2007-09-05T23:08:00.000+03:00

Welcome to my blog. I am sure you, too, are extending a warm welcome to me, as I am to you. I am new to the world of blogging. It took some time for the internet to reach the bowels of the caves I live in. But lucky for us, Al Gore came here on a visit not long ago and brought with him this amazing new technology.

Time is short, I have a mission to accomplish. However, I will try to keep you updated of my exciting life here, and perhaps you might even want to join me.

I have attached a picture of the very first explosive device I ever made. I can remember that day like it was yesterday. I had a real blast in the workshop putting all the pieces together. My mentor and teacher did a good job with me.

I ask you for one favor, however. Please don't tell anyone about what I am doing. If I am caught I will be flogged and then beheaded. Life can be difficult here, but it is great nonetheless.